Jim James, Jack White, Connor Oberst, Sufjan Stevens, Sam Beam
in my opinion...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
That Feeling
"that feeling" makes me double over, mentally and physically.
"that feeling" keeps the bear from hibernating, killing her young for food.
"that feeling" can ruin the best of moments, the best of days.
"that feeling" takes the meat off my ribs, off my cheekbones.
"that feeling" bleeds over everything else, eyes, mouth, ears... brain.
"that feeling" isolates me from every other being on the face of the Earth.
"that feeling" connects me to myself in some way.
"that feeling" is my worse fear, my crippled leg that slowly dissolves away, one day halting me from moving forward at all.
"that feeling" is in the depths of my stomach.
"that feeling" keeps the bear from hibernating, killing her young for food.
"that feeling" can ruin the best of moments, the best of days.
"that feeling" takes the meat off my ribs, off my cheekbones.
"that feeling" bleeds over everything else, eyes, mouth, ears... brain.
"that feeling" isolates me from every other being on the face of the Earth.
"that feeling" connects me to myself in some way.
"that feeling" is my worse fear, my crippled leg that slowly dissolves away, one day halting me from moving forward at all.
"that feeling" is in the depths of my stomach.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This Feeling
"this feeling" gives me the ability to laugh at myself and my stupid problems.
"this feeling" makes the conductor in my head sit down and listen to his orchestra.
"this feeling" erases time for as long as it lasts, and I like that.
"this feeling" gets me the closest to me that I've ever felt.
"this feeling" is the man who stands naked in the street and smiles.
"this feeling" connects me to people.
"this feeling" is in memory of others.
"this feeling" is felt to make an image.
"this feeling" can hurt other people when abused.
"this feeling" shouldn't be depended on.
"this feeling" has been depended on.
"this feeling" makes me cry.
"this feeling" makes others cry.
"this feeling" could end it all.
"this feeling" is good and evil.
"this feeling" makes the conductor in my head sit down and listen to his orchestra.
"this feeling" erases time for as long as it lasts, and I like that.
"this feeling" gets me the closest to me that I've ever felt.
"this feeling" is the man who stands naked in the street and smiles.
"this feeling" connects me to people.
"this feeling" is in memory of others.
"this feeling" is felt to make an image.
"this feeling" can hurt other people when abused.
"this feeling" shouldn't be depended on.
"this feeling" has been depended on.
"this feeling" makes me cry.
"this feeling" makes others cry.
"this feeling" could end it all.
"this feeling" is good and evil.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Me By Numbers
after long consideration and many a-night thinking to myself, I've come to accept that I may never answer the life altering question "who are you/who am I." I feel that somewhere in the past, maybe childhood or even birth, my ability to identify with other people was thwarted; not lost, just deformed. my life has been a mixtape of opportunities, lifestyles and emotions, but never have I felt that it was true to "me". never have I felt that I was "me"
but I'm ok with this.
rather than waste all my time searching for an answer I'm sure not to find, I've turned to alternatives I consider valuable to atleast coming to some sort of closure. by this I just mean characteristics.
like carefree. if I could one day be carefree of how I think people look at me, carefree about politics, other people's problems, small things that I just shouldn't sweat, I think I would feel accomplished, maybe a little fulfilled.
or forgetting my fear. I have fears people make up for the movies. some I don't like to talk about, and others I feel are necessary to talk about to come to some closure. one of my top fears is death; not so much the feeling, but the outcome. if it is pure emptiness that follows, then I want to live as long as possible, but if it is something more, if it is some eclipsing feeling of joy or some Utopia, then I have nothing to fear. it is the uncertainty that frightens me. but if one day I could live my life without having to think about aging, growing old, dying, and yet focus on what I have right now, the beauty of life and the surrounding living things... again, I would feel such closure.
and finally, a life without predeterminations would be splendid. I'll be the first to say that thoughts cross my mind very often throughout the day, usually quicker than I can look at them and say "did I really just think that?" being able to walk into a room full of a diverse people and say "all these people are beautiful in their own retrospect" and then begin evaluating from there, that would be ideal. I can't tell you how awesome it feels when you've already put this judgmental image of someone in your brain, and as you get to know them they shatter it piece by piece. but that's not what I want. I want that shattering to happen in the beginning, in part by me, and to begin my assessment of a person then.
who am I? I'll never know. and people may say they know. and they might. but I didn't ask them. I asked myself. am I giving up? of course not. if someday that answer just hits me, you won't find me upset. am I accepting the truth as I see it now?
that's exactly what I'm doing...
but I'm ok with this.
rather than waste all my time searching for an answer I'm sure not to find, I've turned to alternatives I consider valuable to atleast coming to some sort of closure. by this I just mean characteristics.
like carefree. if I could one day be carefree of how I think people look at me, carefree about politics, other people's problems, small things that I just shouldn't sweat, I think I would feel accomplished, maybe a little fulfilled.
or forgetting my fear. I have fears people make up for the movies. some I don't like to talk about, and others I feel are necessary to talk about to come to some closure. one of my top fears is death; not so much the feeling, but the outcome. if it is pure emptiness that follows, then I want to live as long as possible, but if it is something more, if it is some eclipsing feeling of joy or some Utopia, then I have nothing to fear. it is the uncertainty that frightens me. but if one day I could live my life without having to think about aging, growing old, dying, and yet focus on what I have right now, the beauty of life and the surrounding living things... again, I would feel such closure.
and finally, a life without predeterminations would be splendid. I'll be the first to say that thoughts cross my mind very often throughout the day, usually quicker than I can look at them and say "did I really just think that?" being able to walk into a room full of a diverse people and say "all these people are beautiful in their own retrospect" and then begin evaluating from there, that would be ideal. I can't tell you how awesome it feels when you've already put this judgmental image of someone in your brain, and as you get to know them they shatter it piece by piece. but that's not what I want. I want that shattering to happen in the beginning, in part by me, and to begin my assessment of a person then.
who am I? I'll never know. and people may say they know. and they might. but I didn't ask them. I asked myself. am I giving up? of course not. if someday that answer just hits me, you won't find me upset. am I accepting the truth as I see it now?
that's exactly what I'm doing...
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Finally
over the past few weeks i've been raking some new ideas over some slow burning coals (in my head, that is). ever since i've heard Into The Wild by Eddie Vedder and Pink Moon by Nick Drake, i've been telling myself, i have the ability to just simply take one guitar and make music with it. i can't sing, and i'm no Esteban, but i've always had this inclination towards sound, tone, harmonies. i mean i'm usually a humble guy, but i just know it's something i'm good at. so now i think it's time i took it to the next level and try to make something of my talents. but not so quick. i don't wanna put out a 54 track EP on myspace and spam everyone i know with "hey, listen to this if you like Pink Floyd, acoustic guitars and Taco Bell." no. too many times have a i heard these people that get the same idea that i do but just spit some dumb shit out that has no touch to it and just gets lost in the internet-space-time-continuum. i wanna make this happen. i don't wanna be the next Vedder or Drake, but i wanna say some time from now, "man, that cd was all me, and alot of fun." so, here goes.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
schnickerdoodles
it's hard for me not to go a day without admiring traits and attributes about people, with some part of me wishing i could do what they do. sometimes, i wish i had the vocabulary and diction like some of my cousins do; sometimes i wish i had the artistic ability that most of my friends have; sometimes i wish i was laid back like a lot of my other friends are. it's halfway between admiration and jealousy, but i like to see it as admiration, cause part of me keeps telling myself that i too have something that other people really wish they had. i just haven't figured it out on my own.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Jibber Jabber
this is my latest set of photographs ranging from about 0ctober 20th to yesterday. i use an ae-1 canon, and sometimes it works great, but other times it acts funny. but hey, it's the photographer, not the camera, that takes the pictures...
St. Dunstan's Episcopal Church, Auburn, AL
St. Dunstan's
Evergreen, AL
Evergreen
Evergreen
Auburn, AL
The Rattlin' Gourd, Loachapoka, AL
Loachapoka
Highway 69, AL
Train in Opelika, AL
just random exposure shot
Toomer's Corner, Auburn
Samford Hall, Auburn
parking deck in opelika
shot from parking deck
St. Dunstan's Episcopal Church, Auburn, AL
St. Dunstan's
Evergreen, AL
Evergreen
Evergreen
Auburn, AL
The Rattlin' Gourd, Loachapoka, AL
Loachapoka
Highway 69, AL
Train in Opelika, AL
just random exposure shot
Toomer's Corner, Auburn
Samford Hall, Auburn
parking deck in opelika
shot from parking deck
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