MOFN

one day, and i will make this happen, i will find a spot where there is no human life for miles. i'll be all alone, and there won't be a sound but myself breathing. i'll look to my left, then look to my right, and then clench my fists, and yell. yell everything sinful about me. everything that hurts to think about. things that make me a truly disgusting person. things i hide even from myself. hateful things. goofy things. every thing. i'll yell so loud my voice cracks. spit will fly. it will hurt. mentally i'll be saying stuff i've never told anyone. physically my throat will bleed. my lungs will deflate. deflate. deflate. inhale. more yelling. i'll go on for as long as i can. i'll say every curse word i've learned and then some. no one is off limits. not you, not me, not God. Earth herself will feel the shockwave from my voice. i'll buckle over. yell at the ground. i'll spit on it and stomp on it and curse it. no one is safe. my parents will (but won't) hear me, my friends will (but still won't) hear me. i'll make sure i leave no one untouched. and certainly not me. how long could i go on about myself i don't even know. i might have to get there early to make sure it's still daylight when i'm done. my head will start to hurt. my heart will be beating like it never has. my voice will be on edge. my soul will be its blackest.

and then i'll stop. if the wind so much as blows a dead tumbleweed, i will feel watched, vunerable. but if all stands still, if nothing moves or makes a sound, then i have spoken who i truly am to the only thing that is listening:

nothing.